Whether a true physical and or emotional infedelity has occured or is suspected, forgiving and trusting a partner again goes though many stages. With a partner it is especially difficult because of the strong emotional feelings attached to your love for this person. Most or all of these emotions are based in fear. Fear of loss, fear of being made a fool of, being humiliated, fear that someone you have been intimate with is rejecting you, that you were or are not good enough and lastly fear it will happen again.
First, you need to intellectually decide if you want the relationship to continue or end. If you want it to continue, a helpful way to cope and move through the stages is setting down ground rules. Both partners need to truly want the relationship.
The ground rules are: (and there may be more, depending on each situation)
1-The partner who is accused or has had the infedelity must agree to be patient. Slip ups and breakdowns on the hurt parties behalf are inevitable. Let them have the feelings but pull them back out with a hug and reassurances.
2-Open communication is critical about the situation/emotions and feelings.
3-Everything needs to be disclosed so there are no suprises.
4-The accused should be reassuring the other on a consistant basis by words and actions. Each couple can decide what this means. Examples are: compliments, hugs, sharing where they are at all times, who they are talking with on the phone, emailing etc.
5-The person who feels they have been cheated on needs the courage to take A LEAP OF FAITH and stay inthe present moment. That is one of the biggest challenges, not to look backwards and feel the hurt and look for more. See yourself and your partner together and visualize the relationship you want. Say things like "I feel connected and loved by _____ and this experience is making us stronger as a couple."
6- Prayer daily to God (or your universe, higher power) to help you let go of the fear, pain and destructive thoughts. Pray for you to let it go and move on to your better life with lessons learned to become who you should be.